Responsibility

We have a pharmacology exam tomorrow, which means that I've been spending my weekend memorizing drugs. This, more than anything I've done in medical school so far, has made me realize that, WOW, I'm going to be a doctor. I'm not just memorizing this stuff for an exam; the knowledge that I'm acquiring in school is going to help me help others, and maybe even save some lives. This is still a somewhat abstract thought, but what has really struck me is how quickly everything seems to be moving. I'm just a month away from being done with my first year of medical school. Where did the months go?! Three years from now, I will be graduating, and I will be a doctor, and I will only be 26. This is what boggles my mind. A doctor, at 26? No way! But yes...that's how it works. I'm left with a feeling of excitement, awe, and above all else, responsibility. In three short years, I am responsible for holding the knowledge of a full (although, granted, a new) M.D. That's a whole lotta responsibility -- and I'm excited for it.

I had another encounter with responsibility this week, as well, when I received my orders for my USAF training this summer. (Unfortunately, the orders weren't entirely correct, so I still can't make any summer plans until they get amended. However, the gist of them was right.) I must make my own flight arrangements to Texas. I am authorized to rent a car on the government's dime. I am to report at 0700 in ABUs on 21 June. I am, now and for many years to come, an Air Force officer. It's not a game, it's not for fun (although it is fun), it's truly what I am. If that doesn't make me feel responsible, then I don't know what can.